13# Life with your Dad in the early years

     The years after the births of Laura and Jimmy passed quickly.  In spite of Dads' lack of education, he was able to support the family quite well,  selling cars.  It was very difficult for him to work for someone else since he didn't like taking orders. He was best when he could  work on his own. He was a  terrific salesman ,  and he  really cared about his customers!  I was able to do the bookkeeping and the  business flourished, but the downside was - too much free time! Since he worked from home, he became bored easily;  and was never satisfied or happy with his life. Which in turn,  drove him to drinking and going out to bars.  He did take me along sometimes but that became less and less because, we would usually end up in an argument. When he drank, he became more jealous, possessive and just plain mean!  I wanted to avoid those scenes, as you can imagine.  Usually, if we relaxed at home with the children and the TV, things were much better.  On the holiday, he would be the most generous father and husband!  I truly believe that I did my best to encourage him and that I was satisfied with our life, because -I loved him still.

     Over the years, we held it all together; in spite of the arguments. We had our happy times and I always believed he loved me!  Sometimes I think - if I had not been such a needy, weak person-always wanting approval; things might have been different.  I was always afraid of losing him and being alone, so I took it all, instead of taking a stand. As you can see I am still taking the blame! Ha!  but at least, I recognize it now.  

Around 1954, when Laura and Jimmy were 5 and 2 years old.  We sold the home; we had bought and after paying back Grandma Kennedy- we were renting again.  I found us an apartment in the Gage Park area which, at the time, was a nice area..  Laura started school at St. Gall Catholic school and when she was baptized; your Dad and I  were married by the priest! Our first marriage had been at City  Hall . I was very happy then and decided to go for instructions and become a Catholic!

Soon the apartment became too small and I found us an apartment in a 2 flat on 54th Halsted.  It was quite a step up for us because it was large and roomy with a backyard!  We also had a garage and Dad could clean and polish the cars he later sold! We loved it, and soon were able to buy the building outright. The children were both attending Visitation Catholic school. We lived there until 1969 , when we were able to sell the building.  Your father had done quite well, at least financially, in spite of his drinking; although the proceeds from the first  house were just enough to pay off the mortgage.

Whenever, money was short, I would go to work in an office but that could never last because your Dad never wanted me to work.  Till then, I had left your father briefly, several times, taking the children of course. That would happen only when the drinking, etc. became unbearable!   However, as you know, I always forgave him and we would try again.!