11# More about your Dad and I - through 1946

I hope you children will not feel I am talking about your Dad in a bad way because I always loved and respected him!  Most of what happened was just a matter of immaturity , for which we were both to blame! I just feel that you would want to know some of our history!

My attraction to him really began that night at Mary's place. I believe it was because he showed interest and empathy in my life, and especially because he was so open about his own childhood. We sat in my hallway half of the night; talking about ourselves. Even though my Mama kept yelling down for me to get in the house. Ha! She never liked him right from the beginning. She used to call him " that Irish pup". (I think that was meant to be derogatory. Ha!) She had never really given me a sex talk but always warned the following: "Just remember - the guy only needs to put on a white shirt, in the morning, and he is accepted.  The girls reputation can be ruined forever!" Pretty funny, huh? But, it seemed pretty clear to me, at the time. I thought about it a lot, so I think it helped me throughout those difficult years with decisions I was not spiritually equipped to handle.

He told me of all the foster homes, etc. he and his brother Joe (who was two years older) had been in!  Seems his mother, (called Mollie) had left the 4 younger children at a Catholic orphan home because (she said) their father Pete would not support or care for them; so she had to go to work. Within a day or so Joe and Gene ran away from there; and things just went from bad to worse!  

This is probably a good time to write about the Kennedys:   Your Dad's mother,  Mary Catherine Lydon left Ireland when she was about 25 years old. She had a brother Tom, already here. She was the oldest of the girls in her family, I believe there were 8 children. Her and her mother in Ireland never got along, she told me.  She blamed her mother of course-I think they were both high-spirited and stubborn. (I have found to be a trait of quite a few irishman. Ha! Just my joke, don't be offended.)   

On the ship, across the seas; she met Peter Kennedy. He was about 12 years older than her and had been married here, in America. He had traveled back to his homeland, with his 4 year old son Pete jr., after losing his wife (Who -according to Mollie- was a slut and a drinker). Remember, this is how the story was told to me! They married shortly after they got here and settled in Chicago. In an Irish section called, at that time- called "back of the yards".
     

It was called that because it was the neighborhood surrounding the famous Stockyards. The Stockyards,  of course has been torn down now, but it was one of the industries that made Chicago important!. Anyway a lot of the Irish gathered there, because they worked for the yards. Pete, your Dad's father, though, worked for the Railroad as an engineer for 45 years. It was a much better paid job and the work was not as hard as the stockyards. Pete was always a well-liked, jolly man (except by Mollie of course) and it was obvious, that he must have been quite a ladies man, in his day. Whatever else their problems were, I am not sure. But by the time I met them, they had been divorced for at least 10 years and Mollie was working for rich, Jewish people on the North side of Chicago, as a Nanny and Housekeeper. She was religiously clean and an excellent cook. 
However, as I was to discover , was very set in her ways.  Which usually means, extremely opinionated!
 When I met your father; the family, (except for the married ones, Pete Jr. and your Dad's sister Kay) all lived together in an apartment building, on the south side of Chicago; called the Byrnes building. Their Dad lived with them, and paid the rent. Sister Mary Ellen was married and lived there with her husband and cleaned and cooked for them all. It was a nice, big, steam -heated, apartment with 4 bedrooms.  The building was called "Byrnes Building"  which I understand has been named a national landmark recently. Pete and Mollie had 7 children together. 5 boys and 2 girls. The joke was that they must have liked each other at least 7 times. The kids alway said that- because they never remembered them sleeping in the same room. Ha! The oldest was Pete, Jr.; then came Eddie, Mary Ellen, Kay, Joe, Gene, Paul and Michael. They were all good people. And very well-liked!


Young Pete was the step-child, and sadly was treated as such by Mollie.  For some reason, (no one could ever tell) their Mother hated him and blamed him for all the problems with their Father. She always said (to  anyone who would listen) that Pete "always favored him, and gave him everything" instead of  "her children."   It was a sad situation for all of the kids, because  Pete and Mollie,  fought all the time! If they weren't fighting, she was putting him down. Strangely, Pete never said anything but good about Mollie. He always said she was a good  woman! When she would come over; he would call her dear and try to tease her. She would call him Judas! The kids clearly blamed their Mother (Ma,they called her); since she had left and was usually the disciplinarian and   Daddy was always working or sleeping. He worked nights on the Railroad and slept days. Everyone always had to be quiet during the day because he was sleeping!  
 
Mollie was a very beautiful, hard-working lady. She had quite a neat, irish accent. You couldn't help but like her.. She really never complained about her lot in life, unless you asked about Pete. She went faithfully to the apartment, that the rest of the family lived in to visit. On her day off from her job, she would bring food and fix up the place. Bringing new towels and curtains, etc. Of course, whenever she would get mad at any of them; she would take things back! The family especially remembered that she would take the curtains.They always joked about it!I guess to ease the pain. Forgiving was very difficult for her. She turned away from the Catholic church because, (she said)
"they wouldn't make Pete do the right thing by his family".
 
When I met your father, he had been in juvenile homes and reform schools many times, so his education was totally neglected. I am sure that is what led to most of his insecurities! In spite of it all, he was quite intelligent naturally; and as you probably remember very engaging. Everyone seemed to like him, no matter what he did. I surely did!! They were not bad boys, just unfortunate, mixed up kids; trying to be men - the only way they knew!.

Your father at 16 decided to join the army.  It was near the end of the war, in 1946.  He had no skills and couldn't hold a job so by falsifying his age; he got accepted. He was very proud and so was I! Of course, he was very handsome in his uniform and I and Mary traveled to Fort Sheridan to visit him during basic training. He didn't like Mary or any of my friends (that should have been a clue to his possessiveness!) He would get angry and sulk. But I saw it as a sign of his love for me, so I went along with it.  Besides, I was a caretaker by nature, and he needed me. He always seemed so loving when he got over his moods - I learned later how manipulative he was. The army discharged him later after he went a.w.o.l. and they discovered his true age. 

Your father's brother Joe who was two years older was legitimately in the Navy.  He always seemed more stable. In spite of going through the same experiences of abuse and neglect in childhood. Some of their experiences in the foster homes and reform schools are too awful to repeat !  As you will see later.

Through all of this, I remained at home. Working all the time, after school and summers. I was finishing up my 3rd year in high school, trying to keep up my grades. Things were still not good at home but I was gone a lot, more independent, and that helped.  

When the  war ended in Europe,VE Day, it was called, (Victory in Europe). Mary and I went downtown to see the celebration. The loop was filled with people , sailors and soldiers. They were shouting out Peace and Victory, even though we were still fighting in Japan at that time. It was so exciting watching them cheering and kissing any and all the girls who would let them!  I remember, we even got a few innocent hugs and kisses!
When your Dad came home again; this time from the army, he seemed older and more determined to make a life for himself.  Which we eventually did, as you know However,unfortunately.-trouble was still ahead for us.