June 6, 2010
I cannot go on with my Journal writing's now, because my dear, sweet husband and partner of 25 years has made the turn for the worse. His colon cancer is getting the best of him now: and it is so difficult to watch! I pray that God will continue to watch over him and give me the strength I need , to help him through it. He has been struggling with this now for almost 3 years but I have never accepted the notion that I might really lose him, even now - when he is sleeping 22 hours of each day, I just can't believe- I will lose him. God please help me!!
June 16, 2010
My dear, Granddaughter Laura, stayed all day yesterday with me to comfort Grampa and I. I intended to encourage and help her with her problems and it turned out SHE encouraged me to continue with my journal now. I was feeling guilty for occupying my mind with TV and the computer while he slept. She told me that Grampa would want me to be distracted now, from the stress I am under. Of course, knowing him, I am sure that is right. Guess I just needed to hear it from someone else. She had written down his quote from the hospital bed.
He said "Don't feel bad for me! "Life is for the living" He continued-
"Try to find anyone who's had the experiences your Grandma and I have had these last twenty years... you can't, it's impossible!"
And so, I am encouraged to talk about our life together at this time. This beautiful part of our life is so important ; it must be written.
If the Lord lets me live longer, I will continue chronologically later.
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