4# Life after my Daddy!

Growing up without a Father was not easy.  We were very poor.  The Social Security Act had only become a law in 1936; therefore my Dad had not accumulated very much money so that the widow's pension my Mom received was not very much.  We had to move i  into a cold water flat. and go on the welfare system, which at that time was called  "Relief"  A cold water flat meant that instead of a steam heated apartment, we would have to heat the place with coal or oil heat.  It also meant that we would heat our water with a tank in the kitchen. 

Within the year after my Dad's death, my little sister,  Jeanie was diagnosed with Infantile Paralysis (Polio)  Before that Marlene or Jeanie as we called her had always been slow developing.  She talked very little and did not walk until she was 4 years. Marlene was hospitalized for a year. We were told she  would never walk again but in fact did learn after we had her home for awhile; even though she dragged one leg. I remember having full charge of her and pushing her around in a buggy for quite some time. To add to the problems, my sister Laverne, at 13 years old contracted  Epilepsy. I remember how frightening it was for me because I slept with her and she would often have seizures during the night and I was told to put something between her teeth so she would not swallow her tongue. I was about 7 or 8 at that time.  My only other sister that was still home was Viola.  Evelyn at 16, had run off and got married, shortly after my Dad died.  It was a older boy she had been going with while my father was alive. Whom Dad had strongly objected to,  thinking he was not stable enough. And he proved to be right, because her husband Jim never did hold down a job after they married.  But that is "her story"

My mother was a sweet,  full figured, vivacious woman! Everybody loved her happy nature. She never complained or had a bad word to say about anyone. However she was also a very dependent woman. She would  ask every one's permission to, as the saying goes "even put the coffee pot on." I  am sure that is an exaggeration,  but you get the idea.  Sometimes I think I inherited some of her traits. It was very difficult for her to survive with 5 daughters, under 17, and all of the sickness! So, the drinking began!

On the corner from our new flat was  a bar.  It was the custom then for many people to socialize at the corner bar. Ladies included. At least, at that time when the depression was slowly lifting.  She began to leave us with Viola in the evenings, and meet  friends there.  Also my sister Evelyn and her new husband would accompany her, at first. There were some bad nights when they would end up at our house, partying, arguing, etc. Our home life began to suffer and the care of my younger sister went to me.

I remember having a hard time getting up for school.  I was a good student and loved school because it took me away from troubles. School and reading became my outlets. Rebelling, I think, I began to do some naughty things like stealing from my mothers purse. I remember one time that I took some money from her purse and bought a quart of ice cream at the store down the street. I went under the Elevated tracks (which were next door to our house) and ate that whole quart by myself. Of course, I had a tummy ache afterwards, and Mama wondered why.  I never told, and denied knowing anything about the money that was missing. I wish I could say that was the end of my stealing but it took a long time for me to ask Jesus for help with my problem.  My Mom did make us go to school and Sunday school, and that was a great help to me. We used to play outdoors, out in front, practically every night in the warm summer evenings. Not much supervision but it was exciting and great fun.  I always had to take Marlene with me and that prevented me from getting in too much trouble.

About   a year or so after my Daddy died, my Mama met a man friend. His name was Fred Estabrook. He was a nice man and it made things much easier for us financially. I always remember him bringing in shopping bags full of groceries. I always thought, I was hungry so that alone made me like him. He used to talk with me and encourage and teach me many things about history.  However, then he began to make me sit there and listen to him during the night! I was not getting the proper rest for a child!  The drinking, and staying up all nights and arguing became worse. I began to resent him, as did my sisters, because our mother was not married to him. As I got older and understood that, I hated him living with us. I felt ashamed and would never bring anyone of my friends home with me.

As you can see, I was ripe and ready to move out, as soon as I felt I was old enough.